No To Fighting
When I went to Junior High School I said “no” to drugs. When
I went to the marriage alter I said “no” to fighting. Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say
No” anti-drug campaign was a huge success. Kids made a verbal commitment and a
mental stance to avoid drugs before they were even of the age to be tempted.
When they were introduced to drugs, they knew they could “just say no” and not
feel alone.
Drug use among school age children plummeted in the 1980s
and many have held up Nancy Reagan’s program as the chief reason. People who decide how they are going to
cross a bridge before they ever get to it have a much greater chance of not
falling in the water.
Why can’t we start a “Just Say No to Fighting” campaign?
I’ll admit, we are against tough odds. It is perfectly acceptable (and often
expected) in our modern culture for a husband and wife to fight. Many marriage
and relationship counselors even encourage it in the name of “communication.”
Yes, it is true. My wife and I have never had a fight. Not
in our 20-plus years of marriage. I don’t intend on starting. I made a decision
when I was dating Athena that I would never fight with her. I saw firsthand how
the curse of fighting destroyed my parents’ and dozens of other marriages.
Certainly there are times when emotions get wrinkled, and
the natural inclination is to blow your top. I sometimes have to bite my tongue
so I don’t say something I would later regret (since when is self-control a bad
thing?). Having a naturally calm personality has admittedly made it easier for
me to think before I speak than it is for some people. But that shouldn’t stop
anyone from trying.
Unlike many other relationship experts, I don’t see fights
or heated arguments as healthy. I just can’t imagine how hurting my spouse with
verbal and emotional barbs (yes – they do cause serious pain) could ever be
encouraged under the guise of “opening up and sharing your feelings.” Baloney!
I don’t need to raise my voice or throw dishes to say I disagree or to explain
what I am feeling. Neither does anyone else.
We don’t fall for the drug pusher’s lies that “everyone’s
doing it” or “just a little bit won’t hurt” and we shouldn’t be so gullible to
accept the wives tales that everyone fights and that it is a healthy part of
relationships.
Fighting is not harmless. It is addictive and if continued,
it is likely to cause irreparable damage. It’s time to get clean. Go and fight
no more.
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