LET GOD REDEFINE MARRIAGE FOR YOU

LET GOD REDEFINE MARRIAGE FOR YOU
There is serious need for all to properly define marriage in God’s terms not your terms and not in the societal terms. The Almighty says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). When God tells us that in marriage, a husband and wife become “one flesh,” we are told in sure and certain terms of the indissoluble unity of marriage. There is need to understand and practically practise this simple but complex statement for a marriage to work. There must be leaving for cleaving to take place and it is cleaving that will result into the two becoming one flesh.
God created the marriage relationship to be a blessing and the area where your entire spiritual gift will be exercised. The mind of God in my understanding is that our homes will be really homes and not houses. Gen 2:18 “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.” Part of the work of a help meet for you is to teach and help you exercise your spiritual gifts. If you want to know that you have patience as a skill, then your home is the field for it. If you want to know that you have the skill to love, the spectators of your home will be the best judge. The highest place for practicing Gal 5: 20-21 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law” is your home where you have to do it voluntarily with self imposed compulsion.

DEFINE DIVINE LOVE FOR EACH OTHERThere is need for each home to define love and respect for each other. My definition of marital love (unconditional) is always displeasing myself to please my spouse from the right motive. To God, the motive why you do what you do is more important than what you do at a time. Paul made it clear that you can give all including your life but still do not have love (1Cor.13:1-3) The understanding of Eph.5:33 “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” is important to our marriages. One can say that it is only our wives that can explain what love means to them. Therefore, I want to plead that you always tell your husband the true meaning of love. A typical understanding of a man in marriage is respect and not love. As a wife you need to obey the last order. You as a man have to really understand and practice what your wife can define to mean love to her. I wish to change the idea of man saying to his wife “I love you” let the wife be saying “dear, you have shown me love today” and the husband saying “dear, you have shown me respect today” ONLY YOUR WIFE CAN DEFINE WHAT LOVE MEANS TO HER. ONLY YOUR HUSBAND CAN DEFINE WHAT RESPECT MEANS TO HIM. An ancient Proverb holds: "If there be righteousness within husband and wife, there will be happiness within the home; if there be happiness within the home there will be harmony in the nation; if there be harmony in the nation there will be peace in the world."DO NOT ASSUME HE OR SHE IS TO MAKE THIS MARRAIGE WORK, BUT YOU (COMMITMENT)There must be a conscious decision for your marriage to work before it will work. Commitment (act of giving in all it takes to make things work) cannot be compromised for a marriage to work. A woman in a relationship for 53 years was interviewed to express a major reason why her marriage had worked and she said that she made a conscious decision that the marriage must work even before she got married. Prov. 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. God’s will is that you give your relationship all it takes to work for you cannot give up your marriage and still please Him. (Eph.5:25-29; Tit.2:3-4)  Knowing that God is the first witness of the vows you made to one another, there is need for each of you to give in all that is needed to make this relationship work. Mal 2:14-15 You ask, "Why?" It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth...”, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
DO NOT DEMAND FOR APOLOGY BEFORE YOU FORGIVEForgiveness (the act of letting an offence go unrewarded) in marriage has no limitation. There will always be serious conflict to resolve because one has refused to forgive the other. Therefore, never believe that I have forgiven enough. Remember that to the extent you forgive is the extent you will receive forgiveness. Forgiveness is a simple word but takes great faith to acquire and put into practice. Your relationship needs million times of it to succeed, therefore buy forgiveness and use it. Gen 50:19-21 “But Joseph said to them, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.” DO NOT THINK THERE ARE THINGS YOU CANNOT TOLORATE FRON EACH OTHER.
A GOOD PRINCIPLE IN MARRIAGE IS TO COMPETE WHO WILL DENY SELF MORE AND LOVE THE OTHER PERSON THE MORE.Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. ⁴ Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.  Phil 2:3-4 (NKJV) Tom Effion stated that Love is not something you get from your spouse; it's something you receive as a result of giving to your spouse.